Freedom Of Expression

In your arms

2009-07-09T18:31:00.009+08:00

She dried her tears with her sleeve as she heard the door shut silently behind her. Explanations filled her head as she wondered what she was gonna say to those who caught her crying. She felt dread fill her heart for she did not want to meet anyone, especially not now. She refused to turn around even when she heard the set of shuffling feet settle right behind her. She was stunned with surprised as a finger lifted her tear-stained face bringing her face to face with his baby blue eyes. His eyebrows knitted with concern while his eyes gave her a long searching look before giving her a warm smile and pulling her to her feet. He looked at her intently before firmly planting his lips onto hers and hugging her so tightly that he squeezed all the breath out of her. He stroked her silky and soft dark hazel hair while telling her that everything will be alright. She buried her face into his chest breathing his perfume and his sweaty and spicy aroma. He smells lovely as always. A shiver ran down her spine as his hands descended down to her neck. He bent forward to kiss her neck mumbling wonder how you would taste like but you're sweaty but none-the-less 'bon apetite'. She laughed silently, smiling at that thought. His face lit with happiness as she laughed. He wiped her tear-stained face telling her how beautiful she still looked even after she had cried, her watery eyes, her very red nose and her teary face. He received a sharp smack on his right arm for that remark. He laughed loudly, his eyes full of amusement. She loved hearing his laugh as it was a laughter of pure happiness and love, devotion and carefreeness.

Tugging her along, he walked out of the building towards the beach. He held her hand tight as he strolled in the evening sun towards a rock he had set a surprise dinner date for her. He caught her looking straight at him with a mischievous look upon her face that he grinned back. His hazel brown hair looked golden brown with the evening sun shining down on it. A light breeze ruffled his hair making it look messy and cute both at the same time. She loved him with all her heart and she knew that he did too even before he said, " I love you. You do know that don't you?" he said before kissing her again. He left her breathless as he sprinted ahead. "Catch me if you can," he taunted her poking out his tongue just to annoy her. "You are so dead," she answered laughing as she chased him.

She saw him stop just before a bend and sprinted ahead. He caught her in his open arms, carrying and swinging her around laughing as he did so. She gasped in surprise as he revealed the surprise dinner specially prepared for her. "Oh my, its lovely. Thank you," she said. "You haven't even eaten anything and you said its lovely. What a joke! Wonder whether you get your sense of humour," he teased, planting her down beside him. Looking at his watch he saw it was half past six. He put his ear to her stomach and said aloud, " Is your stomach hungry for we are not eating till the sun has set in the evening sky casting the sky with stunning shades of purple, pink, orange and red,". "So philosophical! Writing poetry?" he heard her taunt from his left. As he turned his head, he shouted in surprise for ice cold water was splashed onto his face. Drying his face, he saw that she was holding his water bottle and he wrestled it from her till it was within his hands. A smug satisfaction had settled on his face that she climbed onto his laps and snatched the water bottle out of his hands before he was well aware of it. Hugging the bottle she looked up towards his face. He poked his tongue out, pouting like a five-year-old. She giggled as he did that. Taking her camera she snapped a picture of his facial expression. She laughed at his expression of shock and horror that she had caught a picture of him sulking like a five-year-old. He wound his arms around her, holding her in his arms. She smiled widely from ear-to-ear for this was what she had missed most, he holding her in his arms. "I love it when you do this, when you hold me in your arms," she whispered. "I'll hold on to you forever," was he soft and silent reply. " I love you," she said looking towards the setting horizon. "I know you do. I love you too," he said kissing her hair before pulling her close to him as they both sat in the evening sun enjoying each others company.

Hmm.. Love?

2009-05-17T00:33:00.003+08:00

This is such a random post but then again she challenged me to do it so here it is..
On labour day, 1st May my wonderful and most dedicated school organised a ' Student Excellence Camp' to improve and increase our knowledge about PMR and SPM subjects. Being a student who falls under one of these categorises, I attended this camp and sadly found it to be very boring. However the only thing I learnt that was of use to me is this.

The English instructor whose name i fail to remember said this:-
"To write a good English essay, one must use all your senses. Write about how that person feels, sees, smells, tastes and also hears"

So here it is..
My first attempt to use what he taught us. Someone gave me this title..

"My Lover"

The sight of him in his short khaki surf pants and Hawaiian shirt brought my heart racing. The bright coloured shirt he wore made him look stunningly handsome. He shook his wet hazel-brown hair and ruffled it as he stepped into the room. His baby blue eyes twinkled with happiness as he stared straight at me making my heart melt. "Hey, miss me?" he murmured as he embraced me in a bear-like hug. I failed to answer as his masculine cologne wafted to my nose making it impossible to think of anything else. His slighty sweaty yet spicy aroma made me desire his touch. He smiled mischieviously as I stroked his hair and slowly caress his face. He stared at me for a moment before bending forward to plant his beautifully shaped lips on mine. My mind when blank and all questions were forgotton as his warm skin made contact with me for all I could think about was the absolutely perfect man that was holding me in his arms.

* I hope it's not too much. I kind of wrote it in school but edited it a lil here and there*

Leaving..

2009-05-09T13:27:00.004+08:00

I can't believe it..
I can't accept it..
I refuse to comprehend it..
I will not listen to what people around me are saying..

I will not leave..

Haven't we always been told that we get to make decision in our lives?

Well i want mine. Mine is to not leave. But will they accept my choice? How can u expect me to leave when I've enjoyed myself, suffered, went thorough up and downs and found the very best friend in the world there?

The choices u all have given me is only 2 options. Have u guys ever stop to think that i want neither choices? One to go to Singapore and the other to Bj..? Can I not stay where i am? Why is where i am not not good enough?

The reason no one can fetch you or you've got no transportation back is not enough for me.. I cannot understand and i refuse to take that as your reason. How can u all have the heart to tear me away from my 2nd home? One i've already spent 3 years in.. One i love more than anything right now..

Do u all know how much it hurts for me to know my time is limited with the people i never wanna ever lose? How hard it is to spend time with them everyday thinking this may be the last time we ever do something like this? To talk to seniors who I may not even see anymore after this? To hold high posts that people congratulate me about only to lose it when i leave? How difficult it is for me to spend time with them and get closer to them and to feel so attached to them only to be torn away to be in a whole new alien-ish world?

I wonder deep inside me how you all can have the heart to do so.. "Its for your own good," they say.. How can it be for my own good when it hurts so much and causes me so much pain? My time is so limited yet I never wanna leave..

I pray day and night that you will not take me away...
I hope..

The night is always darker before dawn..
Let's just hope for this time its the same..

Please please please I beg you..
Don't take me away..

* I will not take any questions/comments or anything about this post*

Time..

2009-04-12T13:59:00.005+08:00

Time..

Time is something we need yet we lack so much. I am starting to really understand the meaning of "I've got no time". When i was younger, I never really understood the significance of this. I always thought this was adults' way of not doing what you wanted or just their excuse of not playing with you or not taking you out. But someone once told me we all have 24 hours a day. If people can do wonders with this time how come you can't?

I want to learn and do so much more than what I am doing now but I can't. "No Time?" I hate to hear myself say this. It makes me so uncare-ish if i say this to friends. It makes me sound like "I've got better stuff to do than to spend time with you". But that aint the case. I really do have a lot of things to do with my extremely jam packed schedule. I don't mean to keep turing you guys down on your offers. I would love to go and join you guys. But I just can't. And so i wonder deep inside how people with those excellent results and sky high kokurikulm marks do it all.. The popular, smart, and active in kokurikulum students..

Haven't u?

Will God answer the lone prayer?

2009-01-10T23:09:00.002+08:00

What do you think?

Would God answer the lone prayer of a person against a whole class?

This is so totally random but then i will know whether God answers my prayer within the next week. This or next. Latest by next week. My prayer that i am sending to God is that i get a good teacher for a certain subject and not THAT teacher. I mean i am happy with the teacher i have now and i wish we do not need to have a change of teachers. Why???? THAT teacher is the last person i ever want to have teaching me. I mean 1 whole year (11 months) of experience was bad and horrible enough. I do not mind who we get as long as its not THAT teacher. I mean the subject is not even that important, right? Sadly my friends would highly disagree. They think that THAT teacher is a good teacher and it will a stress-relieving class during that subject. Thus they want THAT teacher.

So please please please God I beg of you, Please answer my prayer and not give me THAT teacher...

So now i wonder aloud whether God will answer my prayer or the majority??

The past...

2008-12-11T01:28:00.062+08:00

That night the moon was shining brightly, the beams of the moon casting an eerie glow on everything in that small quiet town. The cool breeze blowing, ruffled his long unkempt hair as he made his way briskly down the sidewalk, his footsteps muffled by his rubber soled shoe. He stuffed his cold hands into his pockets for warmth, pulling up his collar as rain started to pelt down. Staring at the dark cloudy sky, he continued on slowing his pace as he rounded a corner.

Upon reaching the corner, he turned his head and stared straight at the large 3 storey building. The mansion looked pearly white in the moonlight. The building was one of the most admired houses in that town. People would stare at it during any time of the day admiring its beauty. The building's reflective windows, the well-kept garden, the neatly trimmed hedges, the pure white fence, the gravel pathway, the lovely colorful flowers bending in the breeze, and the way the house was renovated. Even the position of the house was perfect for this house was backed by mountains and had breath-taking views from each and every window. Regardless of the mansion's monstrous size it gave everyone this comfortable fuzzy feeling of peace, serenity and safety. The warm glow emitting from the house reminded him of the lateness of the hour. The mansion had a cottage look about it and followed the style of most houses one could see in the countryside. He smiled to himself as he passed the mansion, his pride and joy for he had been told many a times that his house looked like a picture that only the most artistic artist can paint.

He continued walking on, not entirely sure nor aware of where he was heading. He continued walking without a direction for quite some time. Stumbling on a stone he then lifted his head and realized that he had walked all the way to the end of the town. A rather remote area but filled with night time activity. A place he had not visited for quite some time. To his left and his right there were nightclubs with music so loud he could feel his heart thumping to the bass beat of the music. So loud that he could fell the vibration of the glass door muffling the music from the outside world. He walked on looking for a more silent place where he could sit and think. Near the end of the road, he saw this pub that he had not visited for a few years. The pouring rain gave him no hesitation as he made his way into the pub.

The clinking of bells reached his ears as pushed the door open. A sense of deja vu overwhelmed him as he entered the door. He glanced around and saw that everything was exactly the same. Nothing had changed nor been moved after all these years. He walked towards the bar taking note of every detail of the pub. The pub was not sparkly clean nor was it filthy. He saw that the white grand piano still sat in the centre of the room. He could never understand why the piano sat in the middle of the room when it would have looked better in a corner. The tables were made of black marble. Black wooden chairs were propped against these tables. The walls were black to match the ceiling. All in the entire pub has this cozy feeling about it despite the black and dull color.

He could feel all his tension and stress leaving him even as he made his way towards the bar. He sat down in a high chair, the same position he used to sit years ago. He loved this pub for this pub always helped him think. He ordered a vodka martini, shaken not stirred. He paid the bartender handsomely giving him a large tip. While he sipped his delicious drink, he observed the pub and the people in it. Before he had even registered any details of his surroundings, this young lady sitting alone in the corner reading a book caught his attention. This young lady was slim, beautiful and had sharp face features. She wore reading glasses and sat straight with her legs folded gracefully that it showed off her beautifully ladylike and slender legs. Her hair was let down and it covered parts of her face. Her familiarity invoked an emotion deep in him that he cast aside with another sip of his drink. She seemed familiar but he could not place where he had seen her. He looked away for he knew it was rude to stare. And without knowing the reason why, he blushed red, feeling foolish.

As he shifted his gaze from the lady, his gaze fell on the piano. He has never understood why this all black pub had a white grand piano. The weird position of the piano which was in the middle of the room intrigued him. A sudden desire urged him forward and he found himself in front of the piano. He seated himself, adjusting the position of the piano chair till he was at a comfortable distance from the piano. He looked at the pure white piano with gold pedals admiring the beauty of the grand piano. He himself had never yet been able to find a piano with such beauty despite all the richness he had offered for it. Memories of his past rushed through his head even as he flexed his finger and got ready to start playing.

All out of the sudden, the dim lights of the pub were shut off. Leaving only the light above the piano on. He could not see anyone now for his surrounding was dark as the night without a moon. He did not feel bothered instead this sense of calmness came upon him. He looked at the piano running through in his mind all the songs he has learnt how to play. The low murmur of the pub had now disappeared and leaving this silence so intense that if someone dropped a pin it would very clearly heard. He finally decided on playing this song that he had once learned and dedicated to his best friend and his true love. He closed his eyes for a moment letting the memories of the past crashed on him. The tune and melody of the song took him from where he was and into the past as he remembered her features and expression when he told her as he played the song that this song was specially written to show his love and devotion for her. He placed his hands on the piano, feeling all the keys with such softness it was as though he was touching something extremely fragile and breakable.

As he hit the first note on the piano, he smiled to himself. Every single note was engraved into his mind. He let his thoughts wander back to the past as he played the song. He thought of all the weeks and sleepless night he had spent writing this song for her. He played so gracefully with expression and pure love. He could hear the people in the pub gasp as he played his song so smoothly for he know that he had surprised them all for no one knew that he could play the piano, no one except his best friend. His finger flowed smoothly across the piano never once making a mistake. As he played his final note, everyone stood up and clapped loudly. Some were even thumping on the tables. They cheered for him and he just smiled back. As the lights were turned on once more, he walked back to the bar and drowned his vodka martini in one large gulp. He then made to leave thanking everyone who told him how awesome and beautiful his song was.

He stepped out of the pub, feeling exhilarated that he had came. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled feeling calm, relaxed and peaceful. He saw that it was now pouring with rain. Squaring his shoulders and stuffing his hands once again in his pocket, he walked back towards his house. The heavy rain pelted down on him drenching him from head-to-toe. Nothing not even this horrible weather could dampen his feelings. His spirit had somehow been lifted and was now soaring high in the skies. He ruffled his wet hair making him look handsome and stunning acknowledging the fact that no one was around to see. He laughed silently to himself remembering how his friends always teased him whenever he ruffled his hair. He continued humming the song he had just played, smiling to himself whenever sweet memories ran through his mind, his troubles and jumbled thoughts long forgotten.

Suddenly his phone vibrated in his pocket. Glancing at his watch he saw that it was nearly four in the morning. Wondering who could be calling him at a time like this he looked at his phone. The number shown on the screen was not one he had ever recalled seeing. Despite that fact, he picked up the phone curious to know who was at the other end of the line.

"Hello?" he said in a velvety smooth voice with a strong British accent. "The song you played just now was once dedicated to me. It seemed time has not changed your looks for you look as handsome as ever. And your playing has not changed one bit. The song still sound as beautiful as it did when you played it for me 5 years ago... If it is even possible, it sounded even better, so full of love and devotion, "answered a lady's voice. The lady's voice was rich and pure, sweet and had a barely distinguishable American accent. "Jen??" he asked in disbelieve as his heart filled with hope and he recognize the voice of his best friend and true love.

' How can a student pass ?????'

2008-11-26T11:47:00.005+08:00

Found this online.. Really amusing!!!

It's not the fault of student if
he/she fails because the year ONLY
has 365 days...
typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep - 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) - means 30 days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) - means 15 days.
Days left 81.

7. Exam days - per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, half yearly and festival (holidays) - 40 days.
Days left 6.

9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Days left 3.

10. Movies and functions- at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day ?!?!?!?!?!

Balance = 0

' How can a student pass ?????'

The Long Waited Holidays

2008-11-25T22:38:00.005+08:00

Like my titled stated..

"The long waited holidays.."

Ever realized that we, every single one of us wait for the holidays to arrive?? We countdown every single day till the arrival of the holidays.. " 1 more week, 5 more days, 4 more days.." We prepare to shout "School's out" on the last day. Plan out all the long list of activities that we would do the minute school is over. Turn nocturnal..(like me). Play all day, all night long.. No need to study.. Just paaarty...

At least that is what most people would do till...... maybe the end of November??

The funny part is that once the holidays arrive, we long to go back to school. "Bored la" or "Nothing to do la".. These are amongst one of the things people say once the hols are here. People's mind and perspective start to change. They dream of going back to school to see and have fun with their friends/classmates. They long to walk the halls of the school corridor, scurry around doing things for teachers', ponteng class, eat in the school canteen with their friends.. Ahh..those were the times..

Isn't it funny that is how most people think??
=)

Thoughts & feelings

2008-11-21T21:27:00.016+08:00

I've learnt something new about myself that I am curious to know if anyone else feels like this...

It drives me crazy not being able to know someone else's thoughts and feelings, for one does not always reveal their innermost thoughts. Some barely even scrape the surface. Why can't people just tell u word by word what they are thinking without filtering anything? Why can't they say what they want to without rearranging their sentences and replacing words in their mind? Just say it like it is..

Me : What's wrong??
(Someone) : Nothing..

Ever been in this situation when you can sense that the person you are talking to is hiding something? To me its just really frustrating that people can't just open up and tell me what is wrong. I may not be able to help but at the very least I know I've tried. I may not understand what you are going through but at the very least you know you have someone who always got your back. I also realised its much easier to not live in a world of lies. Why not open up? I know its extremely hard but I'm sure that the person will feel much better after doing so. Persuasion never works here either. Its really annoying. I may have not yet earn the rights to know every one's/your thoughts but I learnt from someone that its much much easier telling a stranger your thoughts and the obstacles that you are facing rather than tell it to your friends. No offence to anyone, but friends tend to judge us more. I mean true friends will remain with you through thick and thin and will also be generous in their thoughts. To those who has true friends, treasure them beyond all the treasure in the world for they are worth more than all those.

As for feelings, it drives me crazy to not know how that person is feeling. Imagine telling someone something and not know how that person is taking the news. Its equally frustrating as to not knowing that person's thoughts. If you are mad/sad/unhappy/depressed and so on, why not just say it out? Why not express? Just say " I'm feeling furious now because of.. " Why instead tell someone.. "Oh no, I'm fine". One more thing, the word fine brings no meaning. It does not mean good nor bad. Can't people say " I'm good" or "No, today was bad" rather than "I'm fine"? Sit and think now, what does the word fine actually mean? If we are of the same perspective you'll come up with nothing..

So clear my head and be rid of all these thoughts, i found out that running and reading helps. Running allows you to pound all your thoughts and feelings into the steady rhythm that you run. Reading also helps cause it distracts your mind and allows you to not think about the stuff you don't want to.

This post is a little weird but its different from everyone else's. Maybe I do think way toooo much.. (at least that is what most of my friends say)

I have a blog

2008-11-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

I've finally made a blog!!!

To all those people who has bugged me endlessly..
Here..
I have now officially made a blog thought I don't really see the use of a blog..
I've always been against blogs, for to me why let the whole know what you are thinking at that spur of a moment?
Yeah, its nice to share with the whole world your achievements and all that but what use is a blog really?
To anyone out there who is willing to spare me a few minutes to enlighten me of the uses and advantages of a blog.. kindly do so
I would really appreciate it..