Leaving..

I can't believe it..
I can't accept it..
I refuse to comprehend it..
I will not listen to what people around me are saying..

I will not leave..

Haven't we always been told that we get to make decision in our lives?

Well i want mine. Mine is to not leave. But will they accept my choice? How can u expect me to leave when I've enjoyed myself, suffered, went thorough up and downs and found the very best friend in the world there?

The choices u all have given me is only 2 options. Have u guys ever stop to think that i want neither choices? One to go to Singapore and the other to Bj..? Can I not stay where i am? Why is where i am not not good enough?

The reason no one can fetch you or you've got no transportation back is not enough for me.. I cannot understand and i refuse to take that as your reason. How can u all have the heart to tear me away from my 2nd home? One i've already spent 3 years in.. One i love more than anything right now..

Do u all know how much it hurts for me to know my time is limited with the people i never wanna ever lose? How hard it is to spend time with them everyday thinking this may be the last time we ever do something like this? To talk to seniors who I may not even see anymore after this? To hold high posts that people congratulate me about only to lose it when i leave? How difficult it is for me to spend time with them and get closer to them and to feel so attached to them only to be torn away to be in a whole new alien-ish world?

I wonder deep inside me how you all can have the heart to do so.. "Its for your own good," they say.. How can it be for my own good when it hurts so much and causes me so much pain? My time is so limited yet I never wanna leave..

I pray day and night that you will not take me away...
I hope..

The night is always darker before dawn..
Let's just hope for this time its the same..

Please please please I beg you..
Don't take me away..

* I will not take any questions/comments or anything about this post*